My little squishy man

I miss my little man so much today. I just sit here at my desk and stare at his photos. I have about 100 photos of him hanging up like wallpaper around my desk and I have a digital frame as well with about 500 photos scrolling all day long. It reminds me why I'm at work, for my little squishy man. I love him so much it makes me cry, happy tears of course! I do everything with him in mind. Everything!!!!! He is my world, my reason for living. His smile melts my heart and just makes me want to hug him and never let him go. I love watching him learn and discover the world around him. Everyday, he learns something new. The last few weeks have been a time of great discovery for him. He started "scooting" around on his butt about two weeks ago. He is FAST! He pushes himself along the floor with his hands and his legs instead of crawling. He also just started pulling himself up to standing this week. Yesterday, I was playing with him after work and we were in the kitchen. He was sitting on the floor by his highchair and I ran into the garage for a second and when I walked back into the kitchen he was STANDING and holding onto his highchair!!!!!! I was so proud! He did it!!!! It was so cute, I walked into the room and gasped and smiled at him and he looked up at me and just gave me the biggest smile! I love his smile!!!! He is the most amazing child on the face of the Earth. We received some of the portraits I ordered from Carrie yesterday. I immediately hung them up in the living room. They are beautiful and I can't wait to receive the next shipment. Hopefully, soon! Last night he slept GREAT! Fell asleep a few minutes before 9pm and I had to wake him up this morning around 6:15am to bring him to Grandma's house. I hate leaving him but, I do need to work. So here I sit at my desk, my boring job. I love the people I work with so it makes it nice to come here. It's what keeps me here as well. Also, I've been working out with Tim Williams, my personal trainer. He is trying to help me get back into shape after the almost 70 pounds I gained during my pregnancy. That's A LOT of weight!!!! I have lost 37 pounds and I need to keep going. I am determined to get there. I can't wait anymore, I need to get back into my pre-prego clothes! It is so challenging. I lost 130 pounds 14 years ago and now I feel like I'm starting all over again. I'm self conscious and need to get over it! I'm a mommy now and pretty invisible. It is amazing how you all of a sudden become invisible. I had an identity and now I don't any longer. Sad. It's another "thing" to get used to now. Tomorrow is Saturday, MY day with my little man!! I Cherish my "alone" days with him. I get him all to myself and I get to bond with him and just love him. I look forward to those days all week. Last night was bath night and he LOVES baths and water!!!! He LOVES water. Did I mention he LOVES water??? OMG, He Loves Water. He gets so super excited when it's bathtime. Once I take off his diaper and tell him, ok let's go, he gets the biggest smile on his face and his entire body starts jumping with joy! He practically, jumps off of his changing table and runs into the bathroom. I take him off the changing table and let him walk/run into the bathroom. I have him sit on his nap nanny while I turn on the water and get it to the perfect temperature. At this point he is jumping for joy and can't wait to get into the bath. Once he gets in he plays with the water coming out of the faucet until it's time to turn it off. Then he splashes and plays with his toys, chews them and then walks around the bathtub a few times, sits down and then plays with the faucet handles and walks around again. Splashes and giggles... He just has such a ball, sometimes I don't want to take him out. Then we bring him to my bed and get him dressed for bed. Next we read BOOKS. He LOVES to read, a lot. We read about 10 books every night before bed. He tells me when we are done reading. He sits in between my legs and leans on my chest while I read to him. He has to pick the book and turn the pages. This is my favorite time at night. Cuddling. Just LOVE IT! Then we cover up with the comforter and we watch Peppa Pig (his favorite cartoon) as he drinks his bedtime bottle. Then when he is done, he turns around and climbs up and puts his arms around me and his head on my shoulder and it's time for "night, night". I just love him. Then we walk into his room and sometimes he falls asleep as we are walking in and sometimes I have to sing him to sleep. I don't mind either way. I NEVER let him cry himself to sleep, that is torture! Gotta get back to work...